The otherworldliness of this job is made more clear to me each time I make contact with the people with whom I will soon be working. (No security clearance yet, by the way, so I won’t be working with anyone for the foreseeable future.)

Today, I attended what was billed as a “meet and greet” with the executives of the government entity with which my company has a contract. The basic purpose of this meeting is to say hi, my name is Dan and now you now what my face looks like. It was an interview of sorts, but I just didn’t have a job riding on it (or so I have been led to believe — but what would have happened if I had jumped up on the table and started singing the Internationale?). I brought my portfolio, just in case a question came up about my previous work.

Before the meeting, which was held at the entity’s offices in D.C., I met my project manager. He’s a nice enough guy, not a big talker but very focused on making a good impression on the client. Before the meeting, he repeatedly advised me, “Now, don’t be nervous.” This served the opposite purpose of the advice, of course. Until he had said that, it didn’t really occur to me that I would have any reason to be nervous. What I originally thought was to be a cocktail conversation was turning into chainsaw juggling. Wasn’t my white shirt and shiny black shoes all I needed for this meeting?

The other piece of advice my manager provided made me think I was being thrust into the Middle Ages. When addressing or responding to the top executive, he said, keep your answers short, direct, and to the point. Never speak out of turn — you will know your turn. Don’t forget to smile and show how grateful you are for the opportunity to serve your country. He didn’t say that I should avert my eyes from this supreme being, but he was darn near getting to that point. I’m 42 years old; is it possible that he thought that I couldn’t hold an adult conversation with a Busy Important Person? Or are there so many people who make missteps in front of highfalutin government bosses that everyone needs to be given pointers on how to speak to them? After years of working in casual and relatively flat organizations all my life, I guess it didn’t occur to me that this type of formal protocol could still exist.

And then the meeting happened. It was laughably quick and painless. The main executive asked me one or two questions and stared intently at me during my answers (an experience which felt, ironically, like juggling chainsaws), and I also fielded a couple queries from her deputy. That was it. Nothing but smiles and pleasantries. Probably 10 minutes, tops. As we walked away, my manager turned to me and said, “I think that went really well,” and I noticed a bead of sweat on his forehead.

This is the world I’m about to enter.

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